Is your relationship a healthy relationship or an unhealthy relationship?
I’m sure you know of Jeff Foxworthy and his Redneck series. Well, get someone to love you this is similar to that only it concerns intimations as to whether you are in an unhealthy relationship.
When you and your partner are out and about and you get together with other people, does your companion verbally embarrass you? I’m sure that everyone just laughs it off like it must be some kind of joke, but did the remark hurt you inside? If so, then you might be in an unhealthy relationship.
How about this one? You and your significant other spend time together and he or she tells you that they love you. But then their actions don’t support their claims. You know, that actions speak louder than words, don’t you? Think about it. How do they make you feel? Loved and secure? Or used and abused?
An unhealthy relationship?
Are you starting to be concerned about how things you do might be misconstrued by your companion? If you are starting to feel like your relationship is a ball and chain type of deal where your companion is ultimately domineering and critical of everything you do, you might be in an unhealthy relationship. (i.e. they read your mail, listen in on your phone conversations, call to monitor on your whereabouts throughout the day, etc.)
They hacked your computer and are reading your email (or just checking your history on your computer to keep you in line). They just all of a sudden show up at places where you are just to check on you. Take heed; you might be in an unhealthy relationship. It’s possible they are checking up on you out of concern for you too, but many times this is not the case. You’ll know the difference.
Maybe your partner is making you separate from family and friends. They realize that when you are around others that love you they have little control over you, so they want to dismiss that from happening at all. Hmmm…could be another sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Let’s say that you have changed a lot of things about yourself. Maybe it is your looks, maybe it’s your interests, maybe it’s your habits…if you have changed things about yourself just to please them that’s the wrong reason. If the changes were made, but not to please yourself then you might be in an unhealthy relationship.
Domineering people make you feel odd just being around them. It’s not so much that they are scaring you, but just making you feel awkward and uneasy…like you have to be on guard and walk on egg shells when you are with them.
So, why would anyone end up in an unhealthy relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically abused?
They say love is blind, so maybe you do not recognize these things as they really are. An unhealthy relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by some kind of a blow up which is then followed by a reconciliation. Then the cycle begins all over again. It’s a vicious circle.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. You may be in the relationship for quite a time before you realize that you are in an unhealthy relationship. Everything is new. Nothing could be wrong. You hear no evil, speak no evil and see no evil. Just like a monkey. Literally. That’s what the honeymoon phase is like. Two monkeys swinging around without a care in the world.
Later, you have a disagreement. The other person blows it way out of context and it ends up being a full-blown argument, often littered with name-calling or battering. Watch out! Is this something that you should be concerned about or is the disagreement just that…a disagreement?
Trouble could be looming its ugly head.
If you suspect that your relationship is an unhealthy one, remedy it while you can.
At this point though, it may be really hard to get out of the relationship. You know consciously that you should get out and that the relationship is not healthy for you, but you are already on the emotional roller coaster that, subconsciously, makes ending the relationship very difficult.
One reason for subjecting yourself to this type of relationship is that many people in unhealthy relationships grow up in homes where they were witness to unhealthy relationships. As a result, you repeat these patterns from your childhood without even realizing that is what you are doing. You view what is happening to you as perfectly normal. After all, you witnessed this occurrence daily.